Tim Bales | The Spectator columnists & writers

‘Some business lunch! I took you to a restaurant.’

Some business lunch!

‘Some business lunch! I took you to a restaurant.’

Some business lunch!

‘I just managed to fill it in time before the ban here kicked in.’

Just managed to fill it in time

‘I just managed to fill it in time before the ban here kicked in.’

Just managed to fill it in time

‘It’s all legal. I’m getting it piped over from Dorset.’

I’m getting it piped over from Dorset

‘It’s all legal. I’m getting it piped over from Dorset.’

I’m getting it piped over from Dorset

‘Isn’t it lovely to spend so much time together?’

Isn’t it lovely to spend so much time together?

‘Isn’t it lovely to spend so much time together?’

Isn’t it lovely to spend so much time together?

‘You left it empty – homes are in short supply.’

Homes are in short supply

‘You left it empty – homes are in short supply.’

Homes are in short supply

‘We’ll burn up any extra calories when we do a runner.’

We’ll burn up any extra calories when we do a runner

‘We’ll burn up any extra calories when we do a runner.’

We’ll burn up any extra calories when we do a runner

The world of Stonehenge

The world of Stonehenge

‘I don’t want you to read me a story! I want the Duchess of Cambridge to.’

I don’t want you to read me a story!

‘I don’t want you to read me a story! I want the Duchess of Cambridge to.’

I don’t want you to read me a story!

‘Next door are watching this on their much bigger set.’

The green planet

‘Next door are watching this on their much bigger set.’

The green planet

‘Do you think this will be the last season?’

Do you think this will be the last season?

‘Do you think this will be the last season?’

Do you think this will be the last season?

‘We’re down to the last one. We’ll have to share it.’

We’re down to the last one

‘We’re down to the last one. We’ll have to share it.’

We’re down to the last one

‘I thought I knew you until I delved into your search history.’

I thought I knew you

‘I thought I knew you until I delved into your search history.’

I thought I knew you

‘Oh no! We’re being bombarded by Adele’s latest album!’

Oh no! We’re being bombarded

‘Oh no! We’re being bombarded by Adele’s latest album!’

Oh no! We’re being bombarded

Stop pinging me

Stop pinging me

200 houses you don’t want

200 houses you don’t want

‘I wish we’d been allowed to go to her sports day in person.’

Sports day in person

‘I wish we’d been allowed to go to her sports day in person.’

Sports day in person

‘This is the best-value Airbnb I could find’

Best-value Airbnb

‘This is the best-value Airbnb I could find’

Best-value Airbnb

Amber Solaire

Amber Solaire

‘It’s my very favourite time of year.’

It’s my very favourite time of year

‘It’s my very favourite time of year.’

It’s my very favourite time of year

‘... and in that direction, three festivals have been cancelled.’

Three festivals have been cancelled

‘... and in that direction, three festivals have been cancelled.’

Three festivals have been cancelled

‘It’s you, isn’t it? The ‘chatty’ one causing all the trouble’

‘It’s you, isn’t it

‘It’s you, isn’t it? The ‘chatty’ one causing all the trouble’

‘It’s you, isn’t it

‘We’re totally lost. I blame the Duke of Edinburgh. He set up these awards.’

We’re totally lost

‘We’re totally lost. I blame the Duke of Edinburgh. He set up these awards.’

We’re totally lost

Hot Cross Buns

Hot Cross Buns