'Have you got any advice?' my friend calls to ask, ahead of going to pick up their pandemic puppy.
'Well, um, as first-time dog owners, I’d say steer clear of spaniels and poodles… but it’s a bit late for that, ha!'
'Ha,' she says, thinking I’m joking and off they go to fetch their cute, Disneyfied cockapoo. What could possibly go wrong? He’s a small dog — they were very clear that they needed a small dog to fit in with their family— he’s friendly, he’s a hypoallergenic little ball of floof. He even looks like a child’s teddy bear.
A year on and Harvey the cockapoo is neither small nor cuddly, towering over both his spaniel and poodle parent. That harmless hypoallergenic coat needs professional strimming every other month (at £50 a time), else it forms dreadlocks.