Dear Mary: How can I stop my husband overeating?

Q. Some older American friends take me and my husband out to dinner once a year when they are over in London. They are very old-school and it’s always a gastronomic feast. Last autumn – and I’ve been mulling this over in my head since then – we went to one of London’s best hotels, where I had grouse as my main course. Something had obviously gone wrong with my order as it was totally raw, and I don’t just mean slightly bloody – it had not been anywhere near an oven. I think my hosts would have been mortified if I had complained to our waiter. It was dark in the hotel so they could not see my plate. In the unlikely (I hope) event of this happening again, what should I do?

– Name and address withheld

A. Grouse-serving Ranald Macdonald of Boisdale restaurants steps in to advise: ‘I would have said, “While I appreciate that this grouse is perfectly cooked, I have to admit to being a complete heathen and I am ashamed to say I prefer my grouse cooked a little more. Could you return it to the chef with my abject apologies and ask for a minute or two longer in the oven, please?”’

Q. My husband’s waist measurement has gone from 34 to 40 inches. He is very keen to reverse this expansion and has been cutting back on his intake. The problem is that we are going to spend a few days with a super-generous male friend in Shropshire, where I know my husband will overeat and overdrink. I don’t want to be forced into the role of scolding schoolmarm, yet if don’t intervene he will ask me why I ‘allowed’ him to eat and drink so much. How can I curb his excesses while keeping things civil in the house of our host? – M.W., Pewsey, Wilts

A. Why not outwit your husband – who may secretly enjoy the scoldings, particularly if they show you in an unfavourable light – by making it clear before you step over the threshold that you will not be intervening. Share the news with your host at an opportune moment, smiling affectionately as you do so.

Q. My 22-year-old daughter wants to have her perfect teeth whitened. She says that, since all her friends have had theirs done, she stands out in group photos. How can I persuade her not to make the same mistake through peer pressure?

– S.F., Salisbury

A. You can buy snap-on veneers from eBay for £3.35. These are for photographic purposes only – i.e. so that the young can take selfies – but they will stay in place as long as the wearer does not try to eat in them. Buy a set of these and your daughter will soon see how over-white teeth jar in a face. This should put her off taking any irreversible action.