Paul Williams | The Spectator columnists & writers

‘I love the All You Can Eat buffets.’

All you can eat buffets

‘I love the All You Can Eat buffets.’

All you can eat buffets

‘No difference. I’ve always WFH’

No difference

‘No difference. I’ve always WFH’

No difference

‘It’s OK, you’re allowed to meet for exercise with one other person from one other household.’

It’s OK, you’re allowed to meet for exercise

‘It’s OK, you’re allowed to meet for exercise with one other person from one other household.’

It’s OK, you’re allowed to meet for exercise

‘And your special subject is: Covid government guidance and rules, November-December 2020.’

And your special subject is...

‘And your special subject is: Covid government guidance and rules, November-December 2020.’

And your special subject is...

‘I’m drinking from home again.’

I’m drinking from home again

‘I’m drinking from home again.’

I’m drinking from home again

‘Hurry up, or he’ll have his weevil way with her.’

Weevil way

‘Hurry up, or he’ll have his weevil way with her.’

Weevil way

St Paul’s Damascene conversion

St Paul’s Damascene conversion (St Paul goes into the attic)

St Paul’s Damascene conversion

St Paul’s Damascene conversion (St Paul goes into the attic)

‘I hope the press get here soon. I can’t keep this up all night.’

I hope the press get here soon

‘I hope the press get here soon. I can’t keep this up all night.’

I hope the press get here soon

‘I told you you had more chance of being run over by a bus than of catching Covid.’

I told you you had more chance

‘I told you you had more chance of being run over by a bus than of catching Covid.’

I told you you had more chance

Must be the butcher’s dog they’re all talking about.

'Must be the butcher’s dog they’re all talking about.'

Must be the butcher’s dog they’re all talking about.

'Must be the butcher’s dog they’re all talking about.'

Police ID masks

Police ID masks

‘I thought we’d made that rule particularly clear.’

I thought we’d made that rule particularly clear

‘I thought we’d made that rule particularly clear.’

I thought we’d made that rule particularly clear

Life class — 1 million BC

Life class — 1 million BC

Life class — 1 million BC

Life class — 1 million BC

She used to take everything off

‘She used to take everything off.’

She used to take everything off

‘She used to take everything off.’

Wait here to be served

Wait here to be served

‘Sorry, boys, but you’re going to have to leave your contact details at the door.’

Sorry boys

‘Sorry, boys, but you’re going to have to leave your contact details at the door.’

Sorry boys

Sausage roll models

Sausage roll models

Sausage roll models

Sausage roll models

Bad news Marshal

Bad news, Marshal. The Denver coach has been held up again.’

Bad news Marshal

Bad news, Marshal. The Denver coach has been held up again.’

‘Now there’s a surprise.’

Now there’s a surprise

‘Now there’s a surprise.’

Now there’s a surprise

‘Looks like Midas has been suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune again.’

Looks like Midas

‘Looks like Midas has been suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune again.’

Looks like Midas

‘Here he comes again… but if he mentions “R” once more…’

Here he comes again

‘Here he comes again… but if he mentions “R” once more…’

Here he comes again

‘We understand that he made his fortune from slug pellets.’

Fortune from slug pellets

‘We understand that he made his fortune from slug pellets.’

Fortune from slug pellets

‘I’m afraid the jury’s still out.’

I’m afraid the jury’s still out

‘I’m afraid the jury’s still out.’

I’m afraid the jury’s still out

‘He must have coronavirus. He’s lost his sense of taste.’

He must have coronavirus

‘He must have coronavirus. He’s lost his sense of taste.’

He must have coronavirus

‘Don’t just sit there, Google something!’

Google something

‘Don’t just sit there, Google something!’

Google something

‘...but you’ll find we get all sorts here.’

All sorts

‘...but you’ll find we get all sorts here.’

All sorts