Mark Mason | The Spectator columnists & writers

The secrets of London by postcode: W (West)

It’s the area that unites James Bond, Rick Wakeman and both Queen Elizabeths. In the first of our series looking at the quirky history and fascinating trivia of London’s postcode areas, we explore the delights to be found in W (West) – everything from fake houses to shaky newsreaders to dukes who are women… The BBC News TV studios are mounted on enormous steel springs to prevent the damage that would otherwise be caused by the Bakerloo line, which runs underneath Portland Place, right down the side of New Broadcasting House. Can’t have vibrations from the Tube trains sending Huw Edwards all wobbly, can we? The same problem was faced by the radio studios that used to occupy the basement – you would occasionally hear the trains on air.

Is this the next glamping fad?

The spot where Forrest Gump gets offered a seat is pretty well where the shower is now.I’m spending the night at a campsite in Suffolk, sleeping aboard ‘Texas’, the first converted vehicle offered by American School Bus Glamping. Until this time last year the bus was transporting students to and from school in the Lone Star state. Now it sleeps up to six (double bed, two bunks and a sofa bed, all John Lewis linen provided), has a funky little kitchen (oven, hob, high-end crockery, plus a barbeque outside) and that (exceedingly decent) shower. Unlike some glamping companies, this one fully recognises that the first syllable denotes ‘glamorous’. My favourite touch is the fridge – its front is disguised as a Marshall guitar amp.

The legendary food at Lord’s

Whatever the problems faced by England’s Test cricketers on the field lately – and they are legion – the players know that one thing at least will go right in this week’s match against New Zealand at Lord’s: the food. The fare at the home of cricket is legendary.Ex-England and Middlesex batsman Mark Ramprakash says that in county matches he and his team-mates would sometimes deliberately get out just before lunch so they could ‘pile into’ the food. Even the two batsmen who were still in would promise each other, as they walked back out to resume play, that they wouldn’t run quick singles for a while. David Lloyd’s first lunch at the ground was accompanied by lager. He was dismissed soon afterwards.Both players started their careers during the reign of Nancy Doyle, who ran the kitchen for over 35 years until her retirement in 1996.

The truth about Three Lions

During last year’s European Championship, England football fans switched, for some reason, from ‘Three Lions’ to ‘Sweet Caroline’ by Neil Diamond (‘so good, so good, so good’). If anything can make them switch back it’s the Football Association, who this week said they were thinking of dropping the Baddiel and Skinner anthem as England’s official song, because it could be seen as ‘arrogant’. Football fans are like children, and as any parent could have told the F.A., if you want to make sure someone does something then just tell them not to do it. The F.A. quickly had to issue a statement confirming there were no plans to change. David Baddiel himself feels the F.A. have long disliked the song. ‘I think it’s the notion – misinterpreted by many people – that “football’s coming home” means that England owns football and we are the homeland of football.

In search of Britain’s oldest pubs

The marvellous reinvention of phone boxes

Britain’s legendary red phone boxes are in the news again. Of course they’re a symbol of the country’s past (about 2000 of them are officially listed buildings) – but what makes them really great is their capacity for reinvention. The story this week was about Ofcom preventing BT from closing down many of the nation’s 21,000 phone boxes. A box will now be saved if it meets one of several criteria, such as being located at an accident or suicide hotspot, or if more than 52 calls have been made from it over the past 12 months. But everyone knows what the long-term trend will be in a country where virtually everyone owns a mobile phone. The red box was born in 1924, when the architect Sir Giles Gilbert Scott won the Post Office’s competition for a design that would satisfy the London boroughs, who were refusing to install the previous model.

Why is the Ryder Cup so cringe?

And so to Whistling Straits, a venue with a name so ridiculous it could only be something to do with golf. The Ryder Cup is on us again, that biennial experiment to discover which overweight American is loudest at shouting ‘get in the hole!’ Golf shouldn’t be about artificial passion. Don’t get me wrong, the game itself is not without merit. For various work reasons I’ve spent a bit of time at professional tournaments, and the players are likeable, down-to earth people from ordinary backgrounds who just happen to be incredibly skilled at hitting a small ball into a small hole that’s far away. They’re as different as could be from the Bossy Accountant types who make amateur golf such a repugnant spectacle. If any of that brigade ever try to inveigle me into conversation I reply ‘I don’t play golf, I like women’.

Spectator Out Loud

Fraser Nelson, Michela Wrong and Mark Mason

25 min listen

Spectator Out Loud

Fraser Nelson, Michela Wrong and Mark Mason

25 min listen

On this week's episode, Fraser Nelson starts by reading the leader. Britain has a labour shortage and our immigration system is a mess - why not have an amnesty for migrants without legal status? (01:00) Michela Wrong is on next. She found herself in the sights of Rwandan President Paul Kagame after she wrote a book exposing the abuses of his regime. (07:05)Mark Mason reads his piece to finish the podcast. Ordering at the bar isn't just about buying a drink, he says. (20:00)

All bar none: there’s more to the pub than just drink

Life’s great joys are usually its little ones, and one of the greatest is ordering at the bar in a pub. The custom — as opposed to sitting at a table and being served by a waiter — was one of the things I missed most during lockdown. The period when pubs reopened but could only provide table service was miserable. A bar is more than just the place where drinks are dispensed. It’s a pub’s heart, the region where its name (short, of course, for ‘public house’) gets its meaning. You never know who you’re going to meet there. This is why pubs are always more exciting than members’ clubs. It is also why London became the financial capital of Europe. Peter Rees, ex-chief planning officer of the Square Mile, says that the fact that you stand up to drink in an English pub ‘means you can be closer to people you don’t know than if you’re sitting at a table.

London’s best pubs with rooms

‘Pub with rooms’ used to mean ‘backpackers’ hostel’, the sort of place with three bunk beds to a dorm and a pound deposit on your towel. But recently the capital’s pubs have realised that by raising their game, they could steal a decent chunk of the London hotel market. In a city where £400 a night often buys you nothing more than a fake mahogany desk, pubs are now offering boutique rooms at Travelodge prices. And apart from the value they offer, what could be more exciting than staying above a pub? It’s a return to the days of the coaching inn, somewhere you could eat and drink with an interesting collection of strangers, then spend the night before continuing your journey. The only difference is that whereas the coaching inn gave you a fresh team of horses, the pub lets you charge your iPhone.

Why men share trivia

It was halfway through lunch that something reminded my friend Marcus about Ray Charles and his plane. ‘Did you know he used to fly it himself?’ he asked the rest of us. ‘When it reached cruising altitude he’d insist on taking the controls. Obviously his passengers were terrified. They thought a blind man playing chess was one thing, but flying a plane? Someone asked him once why he did it. He said: “Because it’s mine.”’ This triggered a memory of my own. ‘It was the same with his car,’ I said. ‘One day he insisted on driving it. When his chauffeur tried to stop him, Charles said “Who paid for the car?” They were at an intersection. Charles ploughed straight into another car.’ At this point Susie, who has known Marcus and me for ages, leaned across to Ciara, who’d only just met us.

The Edition

Prison island: when will Australia escape its zero Covid trap?

39 min listen

The Edition

Prison island: when will Australia escape its zero Covid trap?

39 min listen

Answers to The Spectator Diary 2022 Quiz

Since 1924, ‘Swifter, Higher, Stronger’ has been the motto of which international organisation? – The International Olympic CommitteeOn the day Prince Philip died, the historian Guy Walters tweeted: ‘If anybody else on this planet has met both Winston Churchill and Tom Cruise, apart from the Queen, then I’ll eat my hat.’ He received replies nominating several possible contenders. But only one was shown to have definitely met both Churchill and Cruise. The British man was — at the time of the Duke of Edinburgh’s death — 88 years old. The proof consisted of a photo of him with Cruise at the 2000 Academy Awards ceremony, and the following quote: ‘I was in a youth club when I was a boy and I was the head of a little drama group.

What does it feel like to fly?

Have you ever wanted to fly? For me the urge comes whenever I see a bird hovering directly over a hedge, flying into the wind so it can maintain a position and spot prey. It’s not the prey I’m interested in, just the sensation. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to defeat gravity? Like many of us, Richard Browning had that same urge. Unlike the rest of us, he did something about it. Starting in 2016, he experimented with small jet turbines strapped to his arms and legs, pointing downwards so their thrust would lift him off the ground. His ‘flying suit’ took a long time (and a lot of money) to refine. The turbines on his legs, for instance, had to be moved to his back, not least because they were burning his feet (at one point his wife had to stick a running hosepipe down his boots to cool them).

The power of the pre-match playlist

If England go on to win Euro 2020, you might just have Ed Sheeran to thank. The pop star played a morale-boosting private gig for the squad last week at their St George’s Park training camp in Staffordshire. ‘A bit of food, a barbecue – he jumped on the guitar and played a few songs,’ reported Jordan Henderson. But Sheeran’s set (some of his own songs, plus acoustic versions of UK garage hits) is part of a long and not-always-harmonious relationship between football and pop music. From David Beckham’s dire pre-game playlist to the reason Johnny Marr of the Smiths failed a trial at Manchester City, here’s the turf where Top 40 meets 4-4-2 … It’s understandable that world-class sports stars will want to look to music for inspiration.

Can song lyrics be considered poetry?

‘A notion at which we had but guessed.’ So said the poet Paul Muldoon recently, publicising Paul McCartney’s forthcoming book The Lyrics, an autobiograpy-through-the-songs based on conversations between the ex-Beatle and Muldoon. The notion in question was the one that ‘McCartney is a major literary figure who draws upon, and extends, the long tradition of poetry in English’. You can tell from the fact that ‘we had but guessed’ at it that Muldoon is an Important Poet. Fair enough, if it’s Macca’s own thoughts about his life as seen through his lyrics, with recollections of how he wrote them and what he was doing at the time, then it’s going to be good. Lots of stories, fascinating memories (we assume). But it’s what everyone else will have to say – starting with Muldoon himself – that’s worrying me.

On this day: which county’s water is especially suited to Earl Grey tea?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history …13 March Earl Grey (born 1764). The Prime Minister gave his name to the tea. It was specially blended for him by a Chinese mandarin to suit the water in Northumberland, where the Grey family seat Howick Hall is located. The tea contains bergamot, to take account of the water’s high lime content. 14 March International Pi Day. The date was chosen because in American format (3/14) it matches pi’s first three digits. To remember the first seven digits (3.141592), count the letters in each word of ‘how I wish I could calculate pi’. 15 March In 1906 Rolls-Royce Limited was incorporated.

On this day: which of barbie’s body parts did parents want removed?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history …6 March In 1957 Ghana achieved independence from Britain. The country’s subsequent heroes have included Ferdie Ato Adoboe, who holds the world record for the fastest time to run 100 metres backwards (13.6 seconds). He has also held the world record for speed juggling a football, recording 141 touches in 30 seconds.7 March Robert Harris (born 1957). The author prides himself on being able to put the cork back into an opened bottle of champagne. ‘The trick is to pinch the cork quickly before it’s had a chance to swell too much.’8 MarchMuhammad Ali (Getty) In 1971 Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier contested ‘the Fight of the Century’ at New York’s Madison Square Garden.

On this day: what motto is written on Elton John’s coat of arms?

Every weekend the Spectator brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history …February 27 Elizabeth Taylor (born 1932). The actress’s 2011 funeral started 15 minutes behind schedule, on her own instructions. Her spokesman confirmed that she ‘even wanted to be late for her own funeral’. February 28 In 1939 the non-existent word ‘dord’ was discovered in Webster’s New International Dictionary. It was a misprint, which had arisen several years earlier when an editor suggested including ‘D or d, cont./density’ – in other words, they thought ‘density’ should be added to the list of words for which the letter ‘d’ can be an abbreviation. But a typesetter misread this as a completely new word, ‘dord’.

On this day: what do Gordon Brown and Jack Straw have in common?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history.20 February Gordon Brown (born 1951). Brown is blind in his left eye. Jack Straw is deaf in his right ear. When Brown was Prime Minister, Straw (the Lord Chancellor) sat to his left in Cabinet, meaning their awareness of each other was severely limited. Many said this was appropriate, given their strained relationship.Image: Getty21 February Drew Barrymore (born 1975). When the actress (then six) was filming E.T., she found it impossible to look the puppet in both eyes at once, as they were so far apart. So director Steven Spielberg told her to concentrate on just one eye.

On this day: what was the Statue of Liberty’s original purpose?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history …13 February Peter Gabriel (born 1950). The ex-Genesis singer called each of his first four solo albums ‘Peter Gabriel’.14 February James Bond (died 1989). The ornithologist wrote the book Birds of the West Indies, a copy of which was owned by Ian Fleming, who stole the name for his most famous character: ‘I wanted the simplest, dullest, plainest-sounding name I could find, and “James Bond” was much better than something more interesting, like “Peregrine Carruthers”.’ Daniel Craig in Skyfall (Shutterstock)15 February Clare Short (born 1946). The politician’s mobile phone, which she had forgotten to turn off, once rang during a meeting of the Privy Council.

On this day: how did the plimsoll get its name?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history …6 February In 1918 British women over the age of 30 received the vote. The comedian Frank Skinner had a mother who always voted Labour and a father who always voted Conservative. So they agreed not to bother voting, as they’d only cancel each other out. But one election night, as it was announced on TV that the polls had just closed, Skinner’s mother said: ‘I voted.’ Skinner recalls that ‘my dad went absolutely crazy’.Suffragette Estelle Sylvia Pankhurst (Getty)7 February In 1991 the IRA fired three mortars at 10 Downing Street. Two fell short, while the third only reached the garden.

Before Rashford: sports stars who got political

It can’t be easy, holding down a place in the Manchester United and England teams while also serving as de facto Deputy Prime Minister. But Marcus Rashford seems to be managing it. After the footballer’s high profile campaigns on free school meals and homelessness, we look at some of the other sports stars who swapped the pitch for politics.George WeahImage: Getty Rashford’s predecessors in the world of soccer haven’t always focused on Lamborghinis and nightclubs. The Brazilian Socrates founded the Corinthians Democracy movement to oppose his country’s military government, while in 2014 his compatriot Romario went one stage further and got himself elected to the Brazilian senate. In 1997 Liverpool’s Robbie Fowler was fined £900 for lifting his shirt during a game to reveal a T-shirt expressing sympathy with some sacked dockers (it was a spoof Calvin Klein design showing the word ‘doCKer’).

On this day: why is there a grasshopper on top of the Royal Exchange?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history. 23 January In 1571, the Royal Exchange opened in London. The building (or rather its Victorian replacement) still bears a golden grasshopper, the emblem of the Exchange’s founder Thomas Gresham. He chose this to commemorate one of his ancestors, who as an illegitimate baby was abandoned in a Norfolk field. A local family, the Greshams, were out walking, and only found the baby because their young son chased a grasshopper into the field. They adopted the infant, calling him Roger. Thomas Gresham knew that without that grasshopper he would never have existed. A workman repairs the gilding of the Royal Exchange grasshopper (Getty)24 January Luis Suarez (born 1987).

On this day: how did Monica Lewinsky escape the press?

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history.January 16 In 2006, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf became President of Liberia, and Africa’s first female elected head of state. The country got its name because it was founded in the 19th century as somewhere that freed American slaves could start their new lives. This is why Liberia’s flag so closely resembles that of the US. Ellen Johnson Sirleaf became president of Liberia in 2006 (Getty) January 17 In 1998, news broke of Monica Lewinsky’s affair with Bill Clinton. The former intern escaped press attention during the biggest American political scandal since Watergate by hiding in her mother’s apartment … which was in the Watergate complex.

On this day: why is Ulysses set on June 16th?

Every week Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history …January 9 In 1806, Nelson’s funeral was held at St Paul’s. He is buried in the crypt, directly underneath the top of the cathedral’s dome. His coffin was made of wood taken from a French ship captured by his forces at the Battle of the Nile. January 10 Rod Stewart (born 1945). When the singer made his first serious money, he told his mother he wanted to buy her a huge gift. She said she didn’t want anything. He begged her. She said she’d think about it. Eventually she rang back, and told him she’d like a new bread bin.January 11 Edmund Hillary (died 2008). When the mountaineer conquered Everest in 1953, the Times correspondent James (later Jan) Morris sent a telegram to the paper in London with the message ‘Snow conditions bad’.

The Edition

Macron alone: where are France’s allies in the fight against Islamism?

36 min listen

The Edition

Macron alone: where are France’s allies in the fight against Islamism?

36 min listen

First, France has been shaken by a series of gruesome terror attack – yet western leaders seem remarkably reluctant to support President Emannuel Macron. (01:04) Lara speaks to The Spectator's associate editor Douglas Murray and writer Ed Husain. Next, this year's US election was truly remarkable – but what was it like to report on it? Lara is joined by the editor of The Spectator's US edition Freddy Gray and Washington editor Amber Athey. (17:31) And finally, the British pub has historically been remarkably adept at circumventing restrictions on drinking – but how has it dealt with lockdown? Lara talks to journalist John Sturgis and Spectator writer Mark Mason. (27:21) Presented by Lara Prendergast. Produced by Gus Carter and Matthew Taylor.

Why crowds are so pleasing

London, writes Dr Watson in the first Sherlock Holmes story, is ‘that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained’. The quote sums up the thrill of a crowd, the excitement of being with lots of other people, of not knowing who or what you’ll see or hear. It’s a thrill that feels a very long way away at the moment. The problem with arguing in favour of crowds right now is that the reasons for being in one — watching men kick a pig's bladder around, dancing to recordings characterised by loud and repetitive drum beats, drinking alcohol in close proximity to lots of strangers in the hope that your proximity to one of those strangers will get even closer come the end of the evening — seem rather trivial when compared with the D word: death.

Answers to The Spectator Diary 2021 Quiz

In June 2020, which 85 year-old woman became British Vogue magazine’s oldest-ever cover star? – Dame Judi DenchThe first world leader Donald Trump spoke to after being elected US President was the President of Egypt. Trump informed Abdel-Fattah el-Sisi of his love of which pop group? – The Bangles. Trump said: 'I love the Bangles - you know that song, "Walk Like An Egyptian"?'Which name was given to 118 female babies in England and Wales in 2019, down from 301 the year before? The fall may have been due to technological reasons. – AlexaIn January 2020, which footballer became the highest overseas (as opposed to British) goalscorer in the history of the English Premier League? – Sergio Aguero Early models of Giles Gilbert Scott’s famous red telephone box were known as the K2, K6, etc.

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