KJ Lamb | The Spectator columnists & writers

Neck and shoulder problems

Neck and shoulder problems

I’m a celebrity

I’m a celebrity

Here you go – a little something towards your future debts

‘Here you go – a little something towards your future debts.’

Here you go – a little something towards your future debts

‘Here you go – a little something towards your future debts.’

Energy bill

Energy bill

‘There’s a different PM behind every door.’

There’s a different PM behind every door

‘There’s a different PM behind every door.’

There’s a different PM behind every door

‘Would you mind if we line up behind you? We miss the queue.’

Would you mind if we line up behind you?

‘Would you mind if we line up behind you? We miss the queue.’

Would you mind if we line up behind you?

‘If you’re not careful you’ll grow up to be a government health minister.’

If you’re not careful

‘If you’re not careful you’ll grow up to be a government health minister.’

If you’re not careful

‘Ron and I have decided to conserve our electricity for the festive season.’

Conserve our electricity

‘Ron and I have decided to conserve our electricity for the festive season.’

Conserve our electricity

‘He’s offsetting his cancelled flight by cutting down a tree.’

He’s offsetting his cancelled flight

He’s offsetting his cancelled flight

‘He’s offsetting his cancelled flight by cutting down a tree.’

‘Norman’s taken up coin collecting.’

Coin collecting

Coin collecting

‘Norman’s taken up coin collecting.’

Alice through the glass ceiling

Alice through the glass ceiling

Strong languages department

‘We have a strong languages department.’

‘We have a strong languages department.’

Strong languages department

One for the price of three

‘Is it me – or are things getting worse?’

‘Is it me – or are things getting worse?’

One for the price of three

Rights of passengers

‘I’m standing up for the rights of passengers – because there’s nowhere to sit down.’

‘I’m standing up for the rights of passengers – because there’s nowhere to sit down.’

Rights of passengers

‘He’s off to sow his organic sprouted gluten-free oats.’

He’s off to sow his organic sprouted gluten-free oats

‘He’s off to sow his organic sprouted gluten-free oats.’

He’s off to sow his organic sprouted gluten-free oats

‘And this is our lack of water feature’

Lack of water

‘And this is our lack of water feature’

Lack of water

Trip adviser

Trip adviser

‘Stop it! You’re behaving like a pack of Tory leadership candidates!’

Behaving like a pack of Tory leadership candidates

‘Stop it! You’re behaving like a pack of Tory leadership candidates!’

Behaving like a pack of Tory leadership candidates

‘Norman identifies as confused.’

Norman identifies as confused

‘Norman identifies as confused.’

Norman identifies as confused

Lucky dip

Lucky dip

‘I’m more of a tank-half-full kind of guy.’

Tank half full

‘I’m more of a tank-half-full kind of guy.’

Tank half full

‘They’re wallpapering over the cracks.’

Wallpapering over the cracks

‘They’re wallpapering over the cracks.’

Wallpapering over the cracks

‘Huge bonus for your thoughts.’

Huge bonus

‘Huge bonus for your thoughts.’

Huge bonus

Political landscape

Political landscape

‘Do you have a Republican option?’

Do you have a Republican option?

‘Do you have a Republican option?’

Do you have a Republican option?

What’s the BBC?

What’s the BBC?

‘We’re going to have to remove the whip, Tompkins.’

We’re going to have to remove the whip, Tompkins

‘We’re going to have to remove the whip, Tompkins.’

We’re going to have to remove the whip, Tompkins

‘And how are you at thinking on your feet?

How are you at thinking on your feet?

‘And how are you at thinking on your feet?

How are you at thinking on your feet?

Boris Johnson’s got more lives than we have

‘Boris Johnson’s got more lives than we have.’

Boris Johnson’s got more lives than we have

‘Boris Johnson’s got more lives than we have.’