There is something uniquely soul-destroying about British theme parks. The effusive, American cheer of Disney Land somehow fails to translate in Blighty where no amount of sugary pastel scenery, singing flowers and glockenspiel music can distract from the bad weather. Indeed, if Peppa Pig World really does embody 'the power of UK creativity', as Boris suggested in his CBI speech, we really are in more trouble than I thought.
Maybe the PM got lucky with the weather during his visit to Peppa Pig World last weekend. But, for the rest of us, it's hard not see an hour-long queue in the drizzle for Peppa's Big Balloon Ride as anything other than a particularly cruel form of parental purgatory. Yet, for modern parents like Boris and Carrie, it's almost a rite of passage.