Dredge | The Spectator columnists & writers

‘They’re ambulance spotters.’

Ambulance spotters

‘They’re ambulance spotters.’

Ambulance spotters

‘Is it just me or are eras getting shorter these days?’

Are eras getting shorter these days?

‘Is it just me or are eras getting shorter these days?’

Are eras getting shorter these days?

Tunnel of no light at the end

Tunnel of no light at the end

‘You’re history, pal – make way for the King Charles spaniel.’

You’re history, pal

‘You’re history, pal – make way for the King Charles spaniel.’

You’re history, pal

How much longer before we close?

How much longer before we close?

‘This is one football that isn’t “coming home”!’

One football that isn’t “coming home”

‘This is one football that isn’t “coming home”!’

One football that isn’t “coming home”

‘If you’re looking for a lady with no baggage head over to Gatwick’s arrivals hall.’

If you’re looking for a lady with no baggage

‘If you’re looking for a lady with no baggage head over to Gatwick’s arrivals hall.’

If you’re looking for a lady with no baggage

The new steam age

The new steam age

The new steam age

The new steam age

‘Doctor will see you then...’

‘Doctor will see you then...’

‘Doctor will see you then...’

‘Doctor will see you then...’

Just signed

Just signed

Downing street SW1G

Downing street SW1G

Customer survey

Customer survey

Haven’t we seen you on CCTV?

‘Haven’t we seen you on CCTV?’

Haven’t we seen you on CCTV?

‘Haven’t we seen you on CCTV?’

‘No need to tip. As there’s a taxi driver shortage, can you give me a lift home, please?’

Taxi driver shortage

‘No need to tip. As there’s a taxi driver shortage, can you give me a lift home, please?’

Taxi driver shortage

‘The doctor won’t see you now.’

The doctor won’t see you now.

‘The doctor won’t see you now.’

The doctor won’t see you now.

‘Nigel’s an ego warrior.’

Ego warrior

‘Nigel’s an ego warrior.’

Ego warrior

‘That’s not a good sign.’

That’s not a good sign

‘That’s not a good sign.’

That’s not a good sign

‘Take me to your multi-billionaire business magnate.’

Take me to your multi-billionaire business magnate

‘Take me to your multi-billionaire business magnate.’

Take me to your multi-billionaire business magnate

‘And finally, it’ll be up to your individual judgment whether you wear a mask or not.’

Individual judgement

‘And finally, it’ll be up to your individual judgment whether you wear a mask or not.’

Individual judgement

Rodin’s Plonker

Rodin’s Plonker

‘What did you do in the office, Grandpa?’

What did you do in the office, Grandpa?

‘What did you do in the office, Grandpa?’

What did you do in the office, Grandpa?

‘And where do you see yourself in five years’ time?’

Where do you see yourself?

‘And where do you see yourself in five years’ time?’

Where do you see yourself?

‘You have to take the knee to read it, apparently.’

Take the knee

‘You have to take the knee to read it, apparently.’

Take the knee

‘You wait ages for an MP to be thrown under a bus…’

You wait ages

‘You wait ages for an MP to be thrown under a bus…’

You wait ages

‘Face masks! Inhalers! Testing kits!’

Beach seller

‘Face masks! Inhalers! Testing kits!’

Beach seller

‘I can remember when this was all Tier Four.’

Tier four

‘I can remember when this was all Tier Four.’

Tier four

Football money

Football money

‘Oh look — it’s the head.’

Oh look — it’s the head

‘Oh look — it’s the head.’

Oh look — it’s the head

‘I’ve heard a whisper that “Lockdown Return” is worth a punt.’

Lockdown Return

‘I’ve heard a whisper that “Lockdown Return” is worth a punt.’

Lockdown Return