On Thursday evening, a stream of distinguished visitors poured through the doors of 22 Old Queen Street. These were the readers who had applied and been picked to attend a party to celebrate the publication of the 2,000th Spectator crossword. Tom Johnson, aka Doc, crossword editor, presided over a roomful of dons, doctors, vicars and at least one astrophysicist — ‘the country’s finest crossword minds’, as Spectator editor Fraser Nelson put it. The atmosphere was heady with wine fumes, wit and only the occasional whiff of pedantry.
News had got around, and there were guests from Scotland, Northern Ireland, Switzerland, France... and the Congo: Julie Walker had pleaded to be allowed to submit her entry online from Kolwezi, and had duly made the pilgrimage to meet her crossword hero, Doc.
Also present were setters Dumpynose and Mr Magoo, unmasked by Fraser Nelson in his speech as Chris Brougham and Mark Goodliffe. But there were no flies on the guests and when Dumpynose was asked to explain his pen name, almost the entire room piped up to point out that it is an anagram of ‘pseudonym’. The uninitiated — there were a few present — could not fail to be impressed by the power of the crossword bond. Alas the legendary Columba, aka Colin Gumbrell, and Lavatch (James Brydon) were unable to make it, but had honourable mentions.
Doc — about to celebrate his 500th puzzle in these pages — gave a potted history of the Spectator crossword (the series began 40 years ago, with Jac as the original setter). Then solver Rhidian Llewellyn, whose claims to fame include having taught David Cameron Latin, delivered some elegant insights into its joys: ‘You never feel euphoric when you solve it quickly, you feel deflated — “what am I going to do until the next one?”’ But he went on to say that usually it takes too long, misquoting Roger McGough: ‘Got up, shaved, did the Spectator crossword, shaved again’. He wound up with an apposite clue: ‘Eggs on toast’. To which everyone raised a glass — cheers!
Tim Moorey, who does stints as Mephisto in the Times, confessed that he finds Columba’s puzzles fiendish and said he lives in hope of one day seeing, where the prizewinners’ names should be, the words ‘No one completed this puzzle.’ He revealed that his own high point, as a setter, was to receive a letter from a fan that ended: ‘Thank you for giving a middle-aged woman a good time.’ That went down a storm. Moments later there rose a tense murmur at mention of the Chambers dictionary, ‘a repository of amazing words’ and the crossword setters’ bible, whose future may be in jeopardy.
The speeches over, the cake cut, conversation hummed once more. Some of it made for surreal eavesdropping, as guests exchanged their favourite clues:
‘Transport unfortunately isn’t arriving (6,6)’
‘Stiff examination (4-6)’
‘HIJKLMNO (5)’.
Thanks to all who came for making it an excellent occasion, and sorry to the many other subscribers whose names were not picked from the hat. We hope that there will soon be another opportunity for the Spectator’s crossword solvers and setters to meet.